Marriage

Reading on Facebook sometimes it seems as if folks have the perfect marriage. It makes me want to barf sometimes. Its so...the Disneyfied version...of what life is really like if you're married or living together (and by married, excuse my shorthand, it includes all versions of marriage, civil, religious, partnerships, common law, etc.).

Making its way around the Facebook recently is a post by Seth Adams Smith. And people have posted their praise of the column, saying how lucky they are that their spouse or significant other is just like this.

Again, barf.

My problem with it? A real marriage isn't about one or the other person. Its not about your kids. It's not about you, and yet so many people write about their marriage as if it is only about them and how their happiness is paramount.

A real marriage, like so many of the quiet, dignified folks I see in real life, is about US. It's about being able to come together when you need to and come apart when you don't. You are always yourself, but your naturally selfish nature comes to you when you are alone, and hides in the corner when you are with your spouse. You are a team, a force to be reckoned with. Your stuff becomes our stuff. You work together even through the hard times, the arguments, and the major life changes, and even the small life changes. You ask each other advice because you've learned to broaden your life view to include someone else as a part of you. And yes, sometimes there are selfish periods. And yes, you have to learn that there will be some of those times that go up and down and that your spouse is just as able to forget that you are "our" rather than him or her. Further, your marriage is not your children - if the only thing you have to talk about in common is your household bills and your kids, then well, you're headed down a rocky path, because you've both forgotten your collective identity, and that's not a good thing. Your children enhance your life and become part of the "US" but there's still going to be hours of the day where you need to remember to work together as spouses and be that force.

But you stick together through all of that, and that's what brings you happiness. I can't imagine a life without my husband. He's broadened my world view so that I'm not the selfish person I was when I was young. But he's also taught me that I need to guard myself, too, so that my giving nature isn't abused or overtaken. I have my selfish moments, but they are less often, less long, and less strong than when I was first married. We've moved into that phase where I see marriages becoming real and less tenuous and both of us are committed for the long haul, not willing to give up because we're in one of those bad times.

So what I'm grateful for today is that my husband gets it. He's not there to throw rose petals on the floor after me, make me happy by serving my every whim, its that he's a part of my life from which I derive great happiness because we are together. And I do the same for him. We take care of each other and live the un-Disneyfied marriage. And why yes, those Fiats do represent us - he's tall and I'm short, but complement each other perfectly and I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Side note: written 11/4/2013 8:00 pm. And I apologize if any of the language in this column offends or grosses you out.]

Cooperation

These days we so often hear about things that drive us apart. Politics. Religion. War. Intelligence. Marital status. Kids. And even when we hear about someone working together, we think of the most unpositive of motives. Profit. Greed. Price-fixing. Destruction. Hate. Envy. We seem to have lost, as a nation, the ability to hear people out for what they are doing - helping one another because they are human beings. So often I see people who feel they are always in competition with one another, not willing to give up an ounce of their time for others. There's a certain limit, of course, because we all have to guard our time with care to spend it on the things that we value. But I think everyone in the world knows someone who never gives time to anything and spends their time on what we would typically call selfish pursuits - drinking, gambling, whoring, mooching, drugging, clubbing, etc. And you just want to shake them and say "Don't you see what a negative influence you are on the world around you? Can't you see that the world exists beyond you?". Even when folks aren't driven by these activities, they are often so profit-minded that they spend all their time counting money rather than noticing the world around them.

That's why I love entrepreneurs like Richard Branson, Mark Cuban, Tony Hawk, and others, that give back so much to the business community. Yes, they are out to make money. And yes, they have their businesses. But they also know that by sharing their value, knowledge, and skill with other entrepreneurs and non-profits, that they can make this world a better place. They give transparent feedback without ulterior motive or suspicion, because that's who they are. They recognize talent. They share their knowledge and knowledge of opportunities because they know the world builds more from addition than subtraction.

I am so pleased that the knitting and crocheting community has come together to offer the Indie Gift a Long on Ravelry. Yes, you can absolutely compete to your heart's content if you want to. But if you don't, you can still take part in what amounts to the biggest discount campaign on independent patterns I've ever seen, and support people who have a small business, making their living doing what they love AND supporting their fellow designers.

So that's what I'm thankful for today - that people still come together to do things that are amazing, great and small.

[Side note: I wrote this on Sunday, but I set it to auto publish at noon on Monday, just in case my employer is wondering. And I thoroughly apologize if I offend anyone with the language in this blog entry.]

Control and Surprise

I've been doing a lot of reading lately and watching a lot of new tv shows and of note, a lot of stories in which classic tales are turned in some way to make them fit the modern era and surprise us while still using characters that we know and love.

Cameron Jace, I feel, is one of the best at this. Classic fairy tales are cleared from the dust, brought back to their original liveliness, and moved into a story that surprises, delights, frustrates, and confounds. Sleepy Hollow, on Fox, was another great example, in which the classic events of British history are retold through the connection of the supernatural. My favorite tv show, Supernatural, even did a story where Dorothy Baum, grows up into a supernatural hunter and freedom fights for Oz. Dracula, the latest show that I've been watching, turns the staid story of Dracula and the Harkers into something new and magical (it helps to have Jonathan Rhys Meyers, of course).

What does this have to do with anything? So much in our lives tries to control, to stay the same, to preserve the same patterns that we live, over and over, to a point that even if we recognize them happening, we fall hopelessly into the same way of living and feel powerless to stop them from happening. Sometimes it feels like we grind the same stone, over and over, finding the same, painful ground, down condition.

I am grateful today that there are still delights in this world and surprises to be found. Even our classic stories have life left in them, to spawn new creativity and give us new tales of fun, mystery, love, and life. No matter what, life can still throw you something new that makes your world shiny, new, and exciting, even in the most mundane situation. 

Being Grateful

Yesterday was the start of 30 days of being grateful. Rather than write some BS post about being grateful that I didn't feel yet, I started by framing my senses on gratefulness. Its often said that Buddha said something along the lines of "you will attract what you expect" or are, and that the Buddha teaches people to be more grateful.

In all honesty, it was tough to even think about it in a gray, rainy day where everyone was hung over on candy and partying from the holiday. Then I saw this video:



Look at the tenacity that little mouse displayed. He tries and tries, and eventually, he gets his cookie. It made me smile, and it changed my whole point of reference for the day. If someone as small as a mouse can get what he expected by sheer force of will, perhaps I could get there too.

Today I am grateful for the smallest thing - Amazon delivered to my apartment facial tissue, bathroom supplies, and other things that are no fun to shop for. This small comfort (at a good price) made my Saturday a good one. 

MUST SAVE ALL THE THINGS....Thoughts on managing information & stuff

I have been in a destash mode lately. I've been realizing that part of my issue with life right now is I am too beholden to too many things, activities, emails, etc. So I've been thinking carefully about responsibility, and whether it needs to be my responsibility OR if it could be someone else's. My boss is wonderful about reminding me what is my responsibility at work and when its best to let go of the other stuff. Too bad I don't have someone in life like that LOL.

As a part of this, I've been studying different tools to manage the information that I have and find better ways of doing things. I am currently listening to a Legacy Family Tree Webinar (seriously, if you haven't found these and you're into genealogy or family history, run, don't walk to this link. Each month, one is free to view or you can watch hundreds for a small fee per month) and one of the tools that Thomas MacEntee is presenting is Evernote.

I've had Evernote on my computer/phone for awhile but haven't used it, because most people present it as a way to categorize and save everything that you find. At this point, I don't want to hoarde any more information unless its directly of value to my family tree or for something that I am planning to use in knitting or crocheting. Every time I see someone present about Evernote, its about hoarding more information. And yet - Thomas presented something different, a way to organize your thoughts, your photos, and your documents associated with your tree. Mind semi-blown - a better way to use Evernote that I hadn't thought of, and that might prove more useful.

As he presented on, it made my ponder the nature of the hobby - we are researchers, detectives, and path blazers, solving logic problems and finding new ways to figure out how to find and remember people who may have died 300+ years ago. When I thought about it, it is not all that different from the way people knit, crochet, and spin now - we research (via pattern), we act as detectives (finding the right yarn, needles, hooks, accessories), and path blazers (tweaking or fixing patterns as needed), solving logic problems (gosh dang stitch count errors, typos, etc.), and find new ways to do heels and fingers and things that our ancestors hadn't thought of (can you imagine a sock that had to be sewn together because it was knit flat?).

When it comes down to it, genealogists and family historians save tools, software, information, documents, photos, and mementos. Knitters and crocheters save tools, software, information, documents, photos, yarn, and mementos/finished objects. We're not that different really - its no wonder why there are so many folks who do both.

The problem with the saving of all these things is that especially in today's day and age, information, software, documents, and photos, change super rapidly. It quickly becomes a problem that we need to convert over to the next generation of tools and software to keep that information alive. And sometimes its kept on the Internet, and sometimes it doesn't (and sometimes I wish it went away!). So we end up with a scattershot approach, because we don't want to use yet another tool to manage what's become quickly a monster - Evernote for genealogy, Ravelry for stash/queue/pattern library.

What I've come to realize as a part of listening to this is, it's okay to not have everything. It's okay to let that stash go, to not save every piece of genealogy data because it might be important, because I've realized that in my lifetime, the amount of information, stash, and knitting/crocheting I will be able to do is far exceeded by how much I have. What I can do is focus. Hone in on what I enjoy and whom I want to work on at any given time. Remove the extras so that focus can come naturally. I want to be the expert on certain people, and certain topics, and the only way I can do that to focus.  Yes, I hacked limbs off the family tree - but that's because quite frankly, other trees had them well covered and I don't need to intertwine my branches with theirs. Other folks have very skinny limbs with little trees in the forest, so I've kept them along. It's the same with my knitting/crocheting - I've pruned my queue and have been trying to slow down on starting new projects without finishing others, stopping my pattern testing, etc. so that I can finish my own designs, finish projects, and use my yarn. But it takes SO much discipline! Sometimes I fail, and I have to pick myself up and start again. It's okay!

The process I went through is hardly unique, and they are not alone in coming to this same realization. We're all struggling with this same issue of saving overload no matter what the area, and we ought to work together more often in order to help each other figure this out.

Microblogging the Chicago E-Learning and Technology Showcase

I had a great time yesterday learning about e-learning and m-learning at the Chicago E-Learning and Technology Showcase. It was fascinating being around people who work in the same field.

I again rekindled my love affair of using Twitter practically, usefully, and interactively by live tweeting my sessions. All the tweets from the conference can be found below.

I found it very interesting that at an e-learning and tech showcase that:
1. All the sessions were live, classroom style rather than interactive, showcasing the tools we use to deliver content. There was one hands on lab,  but that was it!
2. There was barely anyone tweeting, which, for a tech event, seems very unusual. When I went to the national ASTD conference, for example, there were streams and streams of tweets in order to catch all of the content that was going on at any given time.
3. There were SO many paper handouts! And they ran out of them! Which is just silly. We're at a conference about digital learning - all the presentations should have been made available for all participants at the conference on the portal immediately, facilitating different kinds of interaction with the content.

Twitter can be so useful to use for real things other than the usual "What I ate for breakfast" tweets. I don't use my Twitter that way - sometimes all that goes to it is my horoscope because I don't feel that I need to bother people with things that are useless information. When I have something to say, I say it, and I love to interact with people about it. Its less about Twitter as the reporting place and more about the interaction Twitter facilitates for me. I was talking to some people at the conference yesterday and mentioned that live tweeting, in particular, is a way to force myself to pay attention and engage with the content in a different way, even if I want to scream about the poor presentation style or lack of adult learning principles being used or simply poor planning.

I'm really excited about the possibilities of mLearning in particular as I think its the direction that people are going to go. What worries me is the potential of downgrading our attention spans further. In the presentation I was in, it was mentioned that mLearning for phones should be no longer than 3 minutes, for tables 15 minutes, and for PCs no more than 45 minutes. That's totally accurate, in my opinion. People go crazy now over a 45 minute survey where in the past an hour or more of writing would not be unusual in a major survey. I can only imagine when education is broken into 3 minute chunks how people's attention spans are going to move shorter and shorter until the point that we can't even sit still for a 1 hour classroom experience. But at the same time, being able to reach someone at the exact time and situation in which they need their education brings to mind dazzling possibilities of effectiveness and efficiency in education that aren't currently possible with the 1 hour classroom block (of which 90% of learning will be lost within 90 days).

So all in all, a mix of experiences at this conference that were interesting and thought provoking on my way home last night. Would I go back next year? Possibly. I'm thinking we need to show off what we are doing for work here, because I think my coworkers are doing amazing things with limited resources in a blended model of live, live remote, eLearning, mLearning, and textual learning education. 

Tweets about "#cets13"

Charlie Brown, Blogging, and the video you need to watch *now*

I was reading around the Internet as I usually do, and found some inspiring posts. First off, if you are in need of something inspiring (or something to procrastinate with, I don't judge), you should watch Amber Naslund's presentation at TedX Peachtree.

I started writing this post because I read an entertaining column on Charlie Brown and its relevance to blog writing - I'm a Linus VanPelt, entertainingly. (Go over and read Carrie Keenan's column "Do You Blog Like Charlie Brown?" - go ahead, I'll wait)
"Linus VanPelt -  Linus is a very conscientious researcher but he lets his research take over and go off into tangents and analogies that don’t quite make sense."
I'm totally Linus - I do love to research and go off on tangents...oops, I'm getting off topic from what I started from! :-) 

This sort of collides with a discussion I was having this week with a friend. She was asking me why I don't blog every day without fail. I had to say that I think its more important to have a message, an important thought, that I've researched and thought about in the car, in the shower, and so much that I can't live without sharing. 

Amber, in particular, is a role model of mine, even before I knew about her experience with mental illness. Why? Her blog is exactly what I think a blog should be - thought provoking, not necessarily about the same thing, but loosely based around a theme, not posting every day but often enough that I remember to check my email for her entry. I get the feeling that her entries are incredibly personal, no matter what the conversation is like, and not that she's cranking them out all the time because she's required to. I used to subscribe to Seth Godin's blog before I realized that he cranks out posts and while I find the questions he proposes thought provoking (on occasion) there is no substance there. I can't say I remember a single entry of his, where I've already talked to multiple people about Amber's blog entry and video.

Every time I read an Amber Naslund post, I sit there and think about it. More than one have shaped and changed my own behavior, both online and offline. That's what a blog should do - rather than meeting some sort of arbitrary schedule that results in posts that are fluff, useless, and don't stick to your brain like a meat and potatoes meal sticks to your ribs. 

I honestly don't care that I get a lot of comments. I don't care that my long posts violate a lot of bloggers so-called rules. I don't care that some people may not give a hoot what I write about, or that they tell me I'm wrong (I'm always open to change, so I appreciate them telling me, but I will firmly make my own decision). I care that I talk to people in real life that tell me they helped save their genealogy society by trying something new, or that they tried their hand at loom knitting because I made it seem so easy that they could do it and could open their mind beyond knitting = 2 sticks, or that I brought up something in my blog that really reached them about the quality of another writer or a designer. Its those real life moments that make writing this blog so much fun, and that's something a lot of folks I see writing a blog don't say. I see and hear a lot of people who say their blog is their job, their drag, their requirement. For me, its a fun part to say something where I can actually spell it all out before people interrupt my thought pattern and my own brain starts racing a mile a minute with the response, or to process what they're saying. 

I often think about the idea of the intellectual salons of France of the 18th century, and in my fantasy of them, I can bring together my favorite bloggers such as Amber, Hannah from Bittersweet, Judy from The Legal Genealogist, Mardee from Mardeeknits, and Molly Erdman from Catalog Knitting. What would we talk about? No idea, but it would go off on some interesting winding path that wouldn't be possible elsewhere, like a good knit-crochet night with friends. 

Err...getting off on that tangent again. My point through this post is that I never would have guessed that Amber has lived with a mental illness as long as she has revealed in her video. From reading my own writing, I never would have guessed that about myself, either. Maybe that's why her work speaks to me so much - I get *it*. So I want to acquiesce to her request and say - add me too. I've had anxiety disorder for nearing 10 years, and I still have those moments where I have to hide in order to be able to breathe, but I can live and do everything I need to. This blog is one of my coping mechanisms - my thoughts onto paper slow down my brain enough to do what I need to do. My brother has ADD, and has had to also find coping mechanisms to make things work. Medications are only one piece of the puzzle - and I think that writing and meditative activities such as meditation, yoga, knitting, crocheting, etc. are another, and sharing with one another that we have these needs are incredibly important.

Kudos to Amber for having the courage to get up there and talk about it. I'm glad to be a part of her audience.

Théière au crochet (Crocheted Tiny Teapots)

I started doing translation of knitting and crocheting patterns awhile back when the Internet was more of a Wild West and resources like Babelfish and Google Translate weren't available. That way I could share fiber arts fever with the rest of the world, or at least to my non-English speaking neighbors.

Once in awhile, an opportunity develops to help out once again. Yes, you can translate patterns with Google Translate, but you end up with a text that sounds like its talking about swords, mesh, and air stitches. Its just not set up to do the specialized language of translating knitting and crocheting language. Tsitsa Tsitsa on Ravelry has a wonderful blog called Bulle de tut'Oz where she shares patterns with the French speaking world. Seriously, check out her adorable dog crown! A Ravelry user asked her permission to get one of her patterns translated, and so I am posting the translation here.

Never used a translation before? Here's what to do. Load up the original pattern in one window. Put that on the side of your monitor. You'll need it to see the copyrighted illustrations and photos from the original. On the other side of the window, keep this screen open. You'll then be able to follow both, side by side.

Please go see her adorable teapots when you get a chance. They are so tiny and lovely! I have intentions to get to them after my class is over - my mother would love a teapot chain decoration like them. If you like them and intend to do a project, go to her page on Ravelry and enter the project.

All terms are translated into American crochet terminology.

The Micro-Teapot by Tsitsa Tsitsa

Abbreviations:
sc = single crochet
sc2tog = single crochet two together (decrease)
sl st = slip stitch
ch = chain
sts = stitches


The body of the teapot (to start at the top of the pot)
Row 1: Chain 3 stitches and close round with 1 sl st.
Row 2: Ch 1, 6 sc, with 1 sl st.
Row 3: Ch 1, 2 sc in each sc from previous row, close with 1 sl st (= 12 sc).
Row 4: ch 1, * sc in 2 sc from previous row, 1 sc *, repeat from * to * until end of row and end with 1 sl st (= 18 sc).
Rows 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9: Ch 1, 18 sc, with 1 sl st.
Row 10: ch 1, * sc2tog, 1 sc *, repeat from * to end of row and end with 1 sl st (= 12 sc). Put the stuffing in.
Row 11: Ch 1, sc2tog until the end of the row and then close with 1 sl st (= 6 sc). Cut the thread and pull to tighten in the stitches at the base of the teapot.

The lid
Make a chain of 3, close with 1 sl st.
Crochet in the circle 4 sc, with 1 sl st at the end of the round.
Sew the small lid on top of the teapot.

The handle
Make a chain of 12 sts + 1 ch to turn the work and crochet back to 12 sc

The spout
Row 1: Chain 4 stitches + 1 turning ch
Rank 2: 4 sc, ch 1
Rank 3: 4 sc, ch 1

Assembly and decoration
Assemble the various small parts, bringing the ends to the base of the teapot.
Tie them together and then bring down the ends in the body of the teapot, and pull them a little flush before cutting so they are hidden in the teapot.

Photo caption
Insert the needle from side to side to make decorative French knots. Finish by directing your ends to the base of the teapot.

Saucer
Row 1: Chain 3 sts, end with 1 sl st
Row 2: Ch 1, 6 sc in ring base with 1 sl st
Row 3: Ch 1, 2 sc in each sc from previous row (= 12 sc)
Row 4: ch 1, * 2 sc in the previous row, 1 sc *, repeat from * to end of row and end with 1 sl st (= 18 sc)
Row 5: ch 1, * 2 sc in the previous row, 2 sc *, repeat from * to * until end of row and end with 1 sl st (= 24 sc)
Sew the saucer at the base

To turn the teapot into a ring, as seen in the photos at her blog:
Chain 3 stitches + 1 ch to turn and crochet go to the desired size. Sew the two ends discreetly in the saucer.

If you want to do the even smaller teapot, here's the directions for it as well:


The Mini-Micro Teapot

The body of the teapot (to start at the top of the pot)
Rows 1-4: Proceed in the same way as for the micro-teapot
Row 5: ch 1, * 2 sc in the previous row, 2 sc *, repeat from * to * until end of row and end with 1 sl st (= 24 sc).
Rows 6-11: Ch 1, 24 sc, with 1 sl st.
Row 12: ch 1, * sc2tog, 1 sc *, repeat from * to end of row and end with sc2tog with 1 sl st. Put the stuffing in.
Row 13: Ch 1, * sc2tog, 1 sc *, repeat from * to * until end of row and end with sc2tog with 1 sl st.
Row 14: Ch 1, sc2tog until the end of row with 1 sl st.
Cut the thread and pull in to tighten in the stitches and bring down through base of the teapot

The lid
Chain 3 with 1 sl st.
Crochet 6 sc in ring with 1 sl st and sew the lid on the top of the pot (see explanations from micro-teapot above)

The handle
Proceed in the same way as for the micro-teapot on a chain of 14 stitches

The spout
Proceed in the same way as for the micro-teapot. Assembly and decoration: see explanation in pictures micro-teapot

Saucer
Rows 1-5: The same procedure as for the micro-teapot
Row 6: ch 1, * 2 sc in the previous row (for 1 increase), 3 sc *, repeat from * to * until end of row and end with 1 sl st (= 30 sc)
Sew the saucer at the base.

Pinterest: Image and the Crafting Pattern

This gorgeous flower is from the cotinis stream on Flickr.
The original, along with his other gorgeous photos, can be found here. 

I've been doing a lot of reading lately of the business journals and it has me thinking about the power of the image. There's a lot of talk on the Internet now about Pinterest, and I've been following the phenomenon with some interest, as its changing the design community. Patterns that used to be sold in a book with no picture are now full of splashy photography in order to make the sale.

Take easy knit baby hats, for example. Most are the same instructions - cast on a certain number of stitches, knit for 5-7 inches, then start a set system of decreases until the hat is bound off, or from the other direction, cast on just a couple stitches, increase until a set size, and then knit until long enough. Most designers now are adding a few more flourishes, such as lace, animal ears, colorwork, etc.

Pretty easy instructions, right? It can be on a handout, a notepad, anything. Back in the day, we were happy to get some photos at all, and it was hoped that they showed key details. I did a search on Ravelry for paid knit baby hats with most projects and least projects.

Least

Most

Look at the difference between the two. Both have action and flat shots, and both look like they would make serviceable hat patterns that would be well loved by their recipients. Yet the teddy bear hat has 190 projects, and the other has 1. The difference: look at the quality. The teddy bear hat has professional looking prhotography, lots of of photos with variety, including detail shots. The other hat has worse lighting, less detail in the shots, and overall, looks like a amateur photo. The ideal search item via image, rather than via pattern instruction.

Would this have made a difference ten years ago? Not really. The designer of the teddy bear hat might have garnered some attention via her blog, but the other hat could have easily been posted on craftster or other craft forums and had tons of projects.

Pinterest really brings this issue home. Check out the results of a search there. You'd think there were only a few producers because of the amount of repins of certain images. Yet in reality, there are thousands of patterns out there for a baby hat. But the ones with the best images rise to the top.

We are at the forefront of the digital catalog taking photography to the forefront of crafting businesses. Are you getting ready for it?

Life as we know it...an update

I had intended over the last couple weeks to update this blog with pictures of the existing Household projects and update with two new ones. However, life gets in the way yet again - I am currently working on my capstone class for my MBA and its taking a lot of my time. In fact, I'd arguably say if I'm not at physical therapy or work, I'm probably working on it!

Its a really good project though, and I've learned a lot about business planning, so that makes the time and effort pay off. Will I launch the business that we're planning? Probably not. Has a kernel of an idea been planted? Absolutely. I intend to launch several micro businesses and see which one of them works, rather than launching the million dollar monster they have us presenting at the end of class.

That being said, I've been looking at some other blogs and thinking that its high time I start a schedule and stick to it, making it not just about certain areas of my life but also others involved. So expect to see more content as I build a schedule up in Blogger, publishing more regularly.

Thank you for sticking with me readers! I promise to make it up to you.

In the meantime, enjoy my latest picture of China the Panda Bear: